He's just not that into you (story of my life)

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."

-He's just not that into you

So on Valentine's Day I went to watch "He's just not that into you" with Ms. Manalo and wow did I feel like I was watching a movie about my relationship life. I definitely related to Ginnifer Goodwin's character Gigi. =/ I look into every little thing when it comes to "signs," believing guys and what not. Yes, it's pretty sad. I always think good of a person until I am proven wrong, and by proven wrong it usually has to be seeing to believing. Until I have seen it... I don't believe it. =[ And THAT is no bueno...

I always wait for that phone call or text and if I don't get it, I usually give in. THAT again is no bueno. I was never told by my mom that when a boy is a jerk to me... he's into me because my mom and I don't talk about those things, but I definitely hear this a lot, "you deserve better," and that comes after every heartbreak, every guy I've liked, or every guy I've dated. If I deserve better... why am I never getting that "better" part? Is it my fault? Am I settling for less? Do I just not have a high enough criteria for a guy? I'm worried that if I'm too picky... if I ACTUALLY matched every guy to my "perfect guy" criteria I would never be with anyone because not everyone you come across will meet your criteria. And like Gigi... I may be going through a lot of wrong guys but at least I'm one stop closer to finding the right one or the right path.

You're all probably thinking, "damn... she is desperate to have someone!" But that's not the case. It is not that I can't be single and have the need to be with someone, I just enjoy the company of having someone and the emotions that come with it.
-I like waking up in the morning to a "Goodmorning," smiley face text and being thankful because it's another day of being with that special someone even if you may not get to see them, the phone calls, text messages, or IMs are good enough to put that cheesy smile on your face.
-I enjoy getting a chill and butterflies in my stomach by the slightest touch from that special someone, especially when they take my hand and our hands fit perfectly together, as if they were shaped just for each other.
-I like that feeling of when we see each other, he looks at me in awe like he is seeing me for the first time and the world around us is nonexistent at that point in time.
-I like when my arms fit perfectly around his waist and his arms around my neck, just looking into each others eyes. Or vice versa. =]
I just feel like I have so much to give... I want to be able to give it to someone deserving. We'll see... all I know is I'm one step closer.

Anyways, I think that's enough of fantasy time for me. Back to reality! =/ When a good guy comes along... he'll call. =]

"If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will."

<3 kl0v3