One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Last night was... definitely something. I got the courage and nerves to finally let go of my pride. I pretty much killed two birds with one stone (NOT literally). It's been something I've been wanting to do for a long time and HAD to do because I am not the type to keep things bolted up inside. It's amazing how we always want the things that we know are not good for us and that we should keep away from, but the heart wants what it wants and it has a mind of its own.

Here comes the personal stuff...

As I was talking to my ex last night, after months of not speaking to each other and going through the whole drama of disliking each other based on the twisted and exaggerated stories from other sources, I finally decided to break the silence. I'm glad to say, I'm over it. I have overcome the "wanting back your ex" stage not because we had such a crap relationship but because during the healing process someone else came along whom, I didn't realize it till last night, but really liked. It's just too bad it will never happen. =/ He was the first since my ex whom I truly had feelings for and for someone to have that affect on me, after a traumatizing and mind numbing heartbreak, was a BIG thing for me. We really had something good, but like Nelly Furtado sang, all good things come to an end. I felt like I had moved one step forward... but then went two steps back. -_-

I got home around 5:00AM and went to work around 6:00AM so I had no sleep =/ but the only thing keeping me conscious at work was thinking about him and how I wanted to be with him. How all I want is for us to bump into each other again someday, maybe soon, and he'd say to himself, "damn! I'm such an idiot!" And try to make an effort to win me back (even though he already has won -_-). For now all I can do is wait for him or for a better someone... ::fingers crossed::

<3 kl0v3